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August 22, 2012     Feather River Bulletin
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Bulletin, Record, Progressive, Reporter Wednesday, Aug. 22, 2012 91~, COMMUNITY PERSPECTIVE ild sexual abuse creates serious disconn Many of us have been WHERE I STAND perpetrator's sexual behavior. When we are made so small, We, as the victims of the following the Penn State/San- Family members often find it so insignificant by someone sexual abuse, try many things dusky trial. It was sad to read ANNE GAUDET difficult to receive disclosure in a position of authority and to get rid of the shame when that a number of officials knew PROGRAM DIRECTOR about sexual abuse especially power and perceived lovewe are not heard or received RAPE CRISIS CENTERif the perpetrator is another (and that is a whole other dis- in our grief, our loneliness, or suspected that young boys PLUMAS CRISIS INTERVENTION AND were being sexually molested RESOURCE CENTER family member or a known fig- cussion), we, as the victims, our "badness," our feelings of but did not take action to pro- ure in the community. Vic- are impactedin very negative "being dirty and different." tect the students. We read and from the past. However, when tims of sexual abuse of any age ways. We carry, often withouf We use lies, drugs, alcohol, hear about "big name" child we experience something in often blame themselves or are being aware, a feeling of be- promiscuity, prescription molesters until it is nolonger the present that triggers an confused because of the corn- ing damaged, dirty or some- drugs, truancy, over-work, newsworthy but does anyone old trauma memory, we expe- plexities of the abusive rela- how responsible for the as- rage,anything we can to coy- consider the impact of sexual rience the sense of the original tionship, including the manip- sault. When we hear of a sexu- er up the pain of the abuse. abuse on the victims? trauma. We become the ulations of the perpetrator. It al assault of a young person, Most of the methods add to There is no "quick fix" to wound and this can be called a is difficult to come inside to how often do we hear, ,'She'll our pain and feelings of being the impact of sexual violence flashback. If we become the your own heart, your own feel- never be the same again," separate, of being tainted. We on men, women and children wound, it can define usand ings and be friendly and car- "She was so beautiful," "He is feel defined and trappedby because of the multi-layering we are unable to connect to ing toward these hurt parts of never going to act rightour trauma. When we are in of physical, mental, emotional the bigger picture, the "more" ourselves when we judge our- around men again," "Well, shame it is very hard to sense and sexual damage to the psy- of who we are; often our ex- selves internally in the same that's what you get fromour inner strength, our inner che. The long-term back- pression of ourselves can be way that we are judged exter- drinking," "Men always get powerfulness, our vitality for ground history of this basic limited to some of the traumas nally by our abusers and often the blame," "Where were her life. Shame can bring up violation of human rights, the that we have experienced, by our community, parents?" many feelings, often over- erosion of individual dignity This can also be true for One of the most damagingWe use language that sepa- wheiming: fear, confusion, and sense of serf is also all young people that have been aspects of child sexual abuse is rates us, disconnects us from judgment, blame and serf- tangled painfully together, sexually abused. Their pain, the confusion, silence and se, the one that has been hurt loathing, to name a few. Dr. Shelley Uram, a and for many this includes crecy that often surround the and violated. We discount or Perhaps the most painful Harvard-trained psychiatrist, shame, can go on for years if abuse. The abuser is usually don't want to hear their feel- behavior that we may not is a consultant at a trauma and they have not been heard or someone that we know andings and their truths in an at- even be aware of is that we addiction facility. She explains believed or have not talked this adds to the trauma and tempt to protect ourselves disconnect from ourselves that most of us think of trauma about the abuse, or have not feeds the shame, which con- from an uncomfortable sub- and get lost in feeling small, as big events (like car wrecks been helped by some form of tributes to the attitude that ject particularly if the perpe- unworthy and pushed aside. and disasters). She points out therapy. (Shame is defined by "there is something wrong trator is a family member, We reach outside for the love, that we have a tendency not to Brene Brown as the intensely With me." The perpetrator can close friend or in a position of for the acceptance and ap- recognize the smaller traumas painful feeling or experience deliberately manipulate the authority. We question the proval, for the comfort and re- that actually trigger the same of believing that we are flawed child into thinking that the victim in ways that are seem- assurances and yet it is diffi- brain survival reaction, since and therefore unworthy of ac- sexual actions are his/her ingly accusatory in our at- cult to receive from the out- the brain does not differentiate ceptance and belonging,fault, in other words, he/she tempt to get information and side what we cannot give our- between overt, covert or big or Shame creates feelings of fear, defines the child and then understanding, and the legal selves. Our basic sense of small trauma, blame and disconnection.) makes the child believe that system and medical systems trust has been violated from Uram explains that when Many children are not only that is their definition of them- are required to go into clarify- the outside and yet we still we recall a memory, we are violated physically by their selves. This often sounds like ing questions that can seem reach out there for what we conscious that we are in the perpetrators but usually "you wanted it," "you liked it" intrusive to get the required cannot find in ourselves present recalling something shamed and blamed for the and often, "you instigated it." statements from the victim. (without some help). This is natural for young children, and if they are not i received in a caring, accept- ing way, the child learns to close down. We feel that we don't fit in, or that we are be- ing excluded and this adds to i our sense of being separate, i our sense of being isolated. Ag we get older, we have a hard time accepting ourselves, we 1 have a hard time coming to ! terms with the abuse, we have. a hard time thinking that we are worthy of love. On reading this, you may feel that this sounds almost ' "over-the-top" or that I am : exaggerating. I wish I were. " For my part, I can only hope that I have touched into the hearts of those that have felt, ' often for years, so ashamed ' because of the actions of the ' abusers and that they can turn inward to be with these ' parts of themselves that so deeply need their own love and care. For my part, I hope : that more of the public under-' stands that the pain of sexual abuse impacts the capacity to' trust, to love and to feel safe. Sexual abuse has to stop. : This can happen as we, as in- dividuals and community, ed-' ucate ourselves on this issue and take a conscious stand to : prevent it. And the good news is that the prevention of child sexual abuse is now being ad-' dressed in a concerted and re- alistic way at the state level. LETTERS to th.e EDITOR Respect, not neglect is a chance for those, who where you can get a very good Northern California is go- have yet to peruse the new and nutritious daily meal at a ing up in smoke and flame, theatre, to view this grand very low price, meet with Where is the governor? Not gift that we inPlumas County friends and make new one word of concern or en- have so graciously been giv- friends, enjoy pleasant com- couragement has been uttered en, for the enhancement of radeship, catch up on local from Governor Brown's of-the arts by Earl Thompson. news, and sometimes there's rice, yet he wants us to meet John Probst even entertainment! his desire, and vote for his tax Quincy The friendly, hardworking increase. It is as if he is staff is always focused on ac- te.!!ing: Nqr;tJmgp: California,to, Circus act commodating the seniors any just suck it UP because the on- Pm writing in regards to way they can. For instance, ly things that matters is his the Chester Public Utilities the well-balanced meals are legacy, the high-speed train to District meeting Tuesday,served cafeteria style and you nowhere. Aug. 14. I'm very sad to see can opt out of anything onthe Everywhere you turn in our fire department in sucha daily menu that doesn't California, you see evidence mess. It was a circus act and please you, e.g. some like of the results of overspend- unprofessional. I've been in a mushrooms or onions, some ing and grandiose dreams of fire family for 27 years, and don't! There's a good variety our legislators and local su- I've never seen' this much to the delicious meals and a pervisors. There only seems problem. Our community variety of drinks available-- to be one across-the-board and firefighters deserve bet- milk, buttermilk, coffee, tea, concept that is working in ter. We count on them, from juices and ice water. Also, California, increase taxes a cat on the roof to an acci- there's an extra special once a and drive more business out dent. They get up at a mo- month birthday lunch which of California. ment's notice and are willing honors those with birthdays Isn't it time Californians to help any time they arein that month! wake up and look at our self- asked. And last, but not least, serving legislators and local We need a leader ASAP that there is a very positive atti- politicians and see them for will be by their side and en- tude that prevails at "Senior what they really are (enough courage and support them Lunch." It is seen in the said). If these political hacks every step of the way. These cheerfulness of the staff, in don't even have the decency men and women went to the willingness to help and to to make an effort to give us a school to learn to be the best accommodate in any way they word of comfort as our forests that they can be. It's very sad can, and the sharing of what I are burning and our homes to see that all they have is a call positive thinking notes, are threatened, it is time for memo on a wall and not a and daily reminders, which them to join the million ofun- leader who talks to them face we certainly all can use in our employed Californians. After to face and encourages them lives. One of these is posted all, even if we don't live in the to get more schooling. Some- on the bulletin board daily, big cities of California, we one who's there more than a which I always find uplifting pay taxes and vote. We too are day or two a week. Provide or useful. This small touch Californians and deserve re- the training skills needed for adds to the attitude of friend- spect not neglect, all our volunteers. Provide ship and caring that prevails RichardE. Naas enough equipment they need over the Quincy Nutrition Greenville when these emergencies Center's "Senior Lunch." We come, and a fire family atmos- are truly blessed to have this Kudos phere. They need a leaderprogram and the caring staff Congratulations to the en- with an open door policy and who make it the success it is. tire cast of the play "Hermes," not afraid to talk in fear of los- Billie Tillotson now playing at the West End ing their job. It would be nice Quincy theatre. And, to director Edie to see our fire department in- O'Conner, kudos for putting volved in the schools and our together a cast and crew that community. within the drama, ably por- i've seen firsthand and trays the frantic and frenzied shame on you! This is a world of international funds, shame that our board doesn't market forecasts and ques- see these problems and bring tionable finances. And this all these problems to the very professional production table. I hope when they take applications for a new chief that they will check out all these options, God bless our community, firemen and thank you for all you do, you deserve it! Lori Trotter Chester Guidelines for Letters All letters must contain an address and a phone number. We publish only one letter per week, per person and only one letter per person, per month regarding the same subject. We do not publish third-party, anonymous, or open letters. Letters must be limited to a maximum of 300 words. The editor will cut any letter in excess of 300 words.The deadline is Friday at 3 p.m. (Deadlines may change due to holidays.) Letters may be taken to any of Feather Publishing's offices, sent via fax to 283-3952, or e-mailed at mail@plumasnews.com Good word Having been a participant for several years now at the Quincy Nutrition Center, which serves lunch in the Veterans Hall for senior citi- zens, it is time I put in a good word and state some apprecia- tion for the program! To begin with, I imagine it is the only place in town Leadership The Aug. 8 publication of the 2011 - 2012 Grand Jury Re- port was direct and to the point in regards to their find- ings and concerns for the county we live in. Certainly, a well-placed shot across our bow if not at our water line. It is apparent strong leadership is lacking; however, I dis- agree with their findings that the CAO is the foundation of county leadership in govern- ment. Leadership comes from all areas and backgrounds in- cluding and more importantly the citizens electing those re- siding in government at all levels, having the principles and values of good steward- ship, goals and the unselfish desire to lift up those around them. At hand is what will the cit- izens of Plumas County do af- ter reading and commenting on the report? What actions will they demand if any? Will the current BOS take any steps to implement the GJ rec- ommendations or will we sim- ply carry on as business as usual? Are the business lead- ers in the county aware of what their respective supervi- sors accomplish, good or bad? Do the business leaders pub- licly (or privately)make any demands of our county gov- ernment expressing their con- cerns and aspiration on what's needed for county job growth? Our representation is only as good as the citizens who stand behind the individuals holding office which leads me to believe we'll see no change to the i sues ex- pressed by the GJ Report un- less good people take it upon themselves to stand up, de- mand, push back and find principled individuals hav- ing the core values needed for leadership. Jim Judd Clio Crying wolf With much trepidation, I have watched the wanderings of wolf OR7. With the advent of the ani- mal rights/environmentalist groups Big Wildlife, Center for Biological Diversity, Envi- ronmental Protection Center and the Klamath -Siskiyou Wildlands Center petitioning CADFG for endangered species listing and a recovery plan, well, now the alarm bells are fully going off. These groups literally loathe the human skin they were born in, they have proven themselves time and time again to be firmly against rural people/life, if not indeed against human life in general. While I have nothing against the wolves them- selves, I do very much fear and distrust the socio-politi- cal ramifications that come with the wolves. Do we want less govern- ment intrusion in pur lives? Well we will not find that with the federal govern- ment's (tax dollar) funded wolf welfare system, where wolves are allowed to repopu- late at higher than historical levels and not allowed to be managed by the people whose lives are actually impacted by them. I do believe there is room for wolves and humans, but in order for that to happen the stakeholders (i.e. local people) must be allowed to manage the wildlife that directly af- fects them. We have seen the struggle Fiery times of other states to overcome When fire season is burn- the feds nanny government ing hot, I always think of how stranglehold on rural people easily it could be so much in wolf areas, better. , One can only imagine the Not a mile from my home struggle we will have here in there is a trio of trees. The this state to achieve any con- one in the center has been trol of the situation, dead so long that the bottom The wolf is rapidly on its two feet have rotted away. A to Golden Calf status :in -:tangte ,of dead braneh s way California and we would be holds the rest of it straight wise to not let wolf recovery up with its neighbors, wait- take this approach here. ing for the day when its rot, I'm sure I will be labeled a ten wood will conduct Ar wolf hater for this letter but mageddon to the crowns of that is far from the truth. I its brothers. ' love wildlife and wild places Yet, not so far away, large but I simply hate that people stretches of forest are so well cannot see what's coming,nurtured that a firestorm em Dorothy Troutman tering them drops to the Quincy groumt and runs along like a healthy, pre-Columbian era About elections fire would. Several points about elec- Local people of good faith; tions. In 2000, Jeb Bush was and diverse politics, have well aware of the 8,000 votes worked hard and long to that had been unjustly re- make more of the-forest that moved from the Florida elec- healthy. For now, they have torate. They were mostly failed because of the foolish from heavily Democratic ar- ness of the wider society. The eas. He assured his critics the push and pull of bitter ideo- mistake would be rectified. It logical feuds again blocks the didn't happen, way to politics as problem On Election Day, work solving. crews in Florida went to work I had this in mind when on streets in heavily Democ- the power went out in Quin- ratic areas. Afterward -- too cy the other night. I tried to late --those responsible said make the best of the sunlight it would before it faded into the never happen again, smoke of the Chips Fire. i A1 Gore prevented a consti- pulled my rocking chair oui tutional crisis by conceding onto the porch, and let my when he found out that the dog curl up in the front yard Florida Electoral College had as I read awhile. intended to cast its vote for By pure chance, I arrived at George Bushregardlessofthe a passage in Isaiah that outcome of Florida's dead- seemed relevant to the moi locked vote. They contended ment. It described a time that the Constitution does not when, "They gorged on the dictate how the Electoral Col- right, but still were hungry: lege should vote. and they devoured on the left Today, the Republicans are but were not satisfied." busily trying to finagle the In times like this, wheri vote again by putting restric- fiery ideologues have so much tions on voters from heavily power, I'll stick to my guns as Democratic blocs, a militant moderate. : In 2008, in Ohio, 90,000 De- Scott Corey mocrats voted during the law- Quincy: ful three days preceding the Dangerous election. Republicans have In my opinion, my friend made laws, not only in Ohio, and former neighbors whd but in many other states as live in and around the All well, to eliminate the three- manor Basin live in one oftho day law. However, they have most dangerous areas in thi allowed the military, usually country. quite conservative, to vote The reason is they are sur during those three days.rounded by national foresi When the Obama adminis- and in close proximity to a na! tration cried foul, Romney de- tional park. i spicably accused the Democ- Neither of the agencies thai rats of being against therun these public lands fighi American soldier, fires, they manage them. i A final note, the Brazilian The handling of both near! government not only makes it by fire incidents needs to be very easy for every voter to investigated, and I hope you cast his ballot but also fines news organization will tak those who do not. the lead in that. Salvatore Catalano Doug G. Drebert Taylorsville P aradis